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You need this skill if you want to lead.

Aug 24, 2022

Reading time: 4 minutes.

 

When was the last time someone asked you a really good question?

The kind of question that stops you in your tracks.

Chances are you don’t remember.

Me neither.

Why is that?

Because learning to ask a good question is a very rare skill. If you want to lead with influence, you need to master this skill.

 In today’s email, I’m sharing 5 qualities of engaging questions.

  

 

 

1. Use open-ended + close-ended questions.

 Open-ended questions and close-ended questions are powerful coaching tools. Both serve an important purpose when used in the right coaching context.

What are open-ended and close-ended questions?

An open-ended question cannot be answered with a “yes” or “no”. These questions are broad and great for brainstorming:

  • What are you most excited about the product launch?
  • What are some options you’re thinking about?
  • Where do see yourself in the next 3 years?
  • What did you think of the client meeting?
  • Tell me more

Close-ended questions are laser-focussed and targeted. They help us narrow our focus from the forest to the trees.

  • What’s one thing I’m doing that gets in the way?
  • What’s one thing I can do to improve XYZ?
  • Should we pick option A or option B?

 

 
 

2. Add a frame to your question

 Framing is an advanced technique that gives life to your questions.

 

Framing the question signals intent and curiosity. It opens up space for your employee to walk in and share their thinking.

 
 

3. Ask one question at a time

 In a press conference, reporters can only ask one question at a time. I want you to practice this habit.

Why?

When you ask multiple questions in the same breath, you dilute your message.

Too often, the recipient will cherry-pick the question they want to answer or just respond to the last question.

Asking one question at a time takes practice. Once you ask. Pause and give space for the direct report to respond.

 

4. Avoid asking leading questions.

Leading questions aren’t questions. They are statements masked as questions. They come pre-packaged with your opinion.

They're used to influence others to move in your direction. Here’s an example of a leading question that can limit your employee's thinking.

"Option A sounds really good. Doesn't it?"

While this question isn't designed to deceive, it still nudges the person to agree with you rather than state their opinion. This question also fails to understand your direct report's opinion.

 
 

5. More “what” questions. Less “why” questions

Your goal is to get to the “why” without using the word why. Questions that start with “why” come across as judgmental and accusatory. Here are three examples:

 

 

Learning to ask a good question is a very rare skill. If you want to lead with influence, it’s time to add this skill to your leadership toolkit.

Keep leading.

Ali.

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